Scientific Experiments
by Empanada de Pizza
Summary: Kenny proves to Kyle that he does understand the value of a quality education. K2, very brief mentions of Stendy


It's Saturday night. Here's some pointless smut!

_South Park belongs to Trey and Matt._

Breakfast: The first and most important meal of the day. That's what Kenny's mother always said to him when he was younger. Which was why there was always Pop-Tarts in the McCormick household. They were a breakfast food. And cheap as shit. And so what if it was at 1:37 in the afternoon? If he was in the mood for corn flakes and coffee, then dammit, he was going to have corn flakes and coffee!

Stan and Kyle had planned on going to school nearby one another, as it was obvious that with Kyle's grades, they weren't getting into the same schools. So they planned to move to Denver, inviting Kenny along once he told Stan one late, drunk night that he actually wanted to prove himself and go to college, and it was learned that Cartman didn't even bother with college, and wound up staying in South Park, which Kyle thought was a blessing. Pulling all-nighters and staying over at the Broflovski's house with both Kyle and Ike getting information to help Kenny do just that.

By some miracle, mostly Kyle helping him at the eleventh hour, Kenny had managed to not only get into Community College of Denver, but also get some grants to pay for classes. Kyle, being the genius he was, forwent Harvard and Yale, deciding to get his undergrad at University of Denver. This did not sit well with his mother who actually wanted Kyle to attend Harvard and or Yale, but Kyle managed to convince her that he would get the four year degree near home, and then transfer to Columbia or Yale for his law degree. Shelia was quite pleased with that. Both of them, along with Stan who was attending University of Colorado- Denver, managed to convince their parents (Kyle's and Stan's parents, of course) to help pay for the apartment in Denver the three currently resided in.

Kenny strolled into the kitchen. He didn't really expect anyone to be in there, not after the night they'd had. But there was Kyle, sitting at the table, face first in his own cup of coffee and textbooks.

"Morning, Kyle!" Kenny said, pulling things from cabinets. Kyle smiled.

"Afternoon, Kenny."

Kenny made his way to the coffeemaker, filled the coffeepot with water and the filter with coffee grounds. "It is morning somewhere on the planet, my dear." He turned on the coffeemaker, nodding to it as the machine started its process. He sat on the kitchen counter, facing Kyle. "My internal clock is set to that time."

"So your clock is set to Hawaii-Aleutian time, is it?" Kyle said, taking off his reading glasses, setting them on the book in front of him.

Kenny just stared at Kyle incredulously. He really was a fucking genius. "Is it morning there? And how the fuck do you know that shit dude?"

Kyle laughed, finishing off the rest of his beverage. "I know this shit because I had to memorize the time zones for one of my classes, and yes, it is morning in Honolulu. They're four hours behind us."

"Hawaiians? I mean, _I_ always thought they were…"

"No," Kyle laughed again. The coffeemaker was finished, so he stood from his chair, taking his mug with him. "We're split into different time zones by the International Date Line," he explained as he refilled his mug. No sugar, he didn't feel like dying, just a hint of milk. Kenny was preparing his own cup, way too much milk and sugar for Kyle's taste. He made a face at Kenny's mug, which earned him the finger from Kenny. "Every country in the world has a different time zone. For instance, here it's two in the afternoon, but in Honolulu it's 10 am."

"You are just chock full of useless information, aren't you?" Kenny asked, grabbing a bowl and dumping cereal and milk into it. He sat at the table next to Kyle with his bowl of cereal and cup of coffee. He threw one leg over the arm of the chair.

"It's not useless information."

"Whatever you say." He leaned over and kissed Kyle on the cheek, smirking at the Jew's blushing. The two had a small fling during their last year of high school, and while they never actual "broke up", they didn't really do anything anymore.

Kyle had spent the better part of the summer before senior year trying to discover himself, finally coming to terms with his budding sexuality after a severely trying three months. He told neither Stan nor Kenny what was going through his mind deciding, as usual, to keep what was bothering him to himself. Even with Stan's constant pestering, Kyle refused to let his best friends in.

It was Ike who figured out what was going on with his brother when Kyle agreed to go with Ike to a film festival. The night ended when Kyle nearly burst into tears demanding they return home after some young _male_ film student began to flirt with him. Ike called Stan and Kenny over the next day and filled them in on the strange behavior he'd witnessed. They planned to stage an intervention on Kyle's behalf, and when Kyle returned to his room from using the bathroom, Stan, Kenny and Ike confronted him on Ike's suspicions.

Kenny sent Ike a "thank you" note on his birthday, every day of Hanukkah and on Valentine's Day for that intervention. He and Kyle began to flirt with one another after the winter break. And while they were never considered a couple, they did enjoy one another until graduation and college applications and acceptances got in the way. They still remained good friends despite the fling. Or maybe it was because of the fling, Kenny wasn't sure.

A comfortable silence filled the kitchen. Kenny enjoyed his cereal, while Kyle went back to his studying. Kenny picked up one of Kyle's books and laughed. Kyle shot Kenny an annoyed look.

"What?"

"I thought you were a science man, Ky," Kenny said, flipping through the pages.

"I am," Kyle said, trying to not sound defensive.

"Oh? _Human Sexuality_? Why take a class about it, when you could be out there _doing_ it?"

Kyle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd gone through the exact conversation with Stan not even two days before. "That is science, Kenny."

"The science of sex? Only you would take a class like that, Kyle."

"It's not the science of sex. It's the sociological view of human sexuality. Why people do the things they do, what classifies as sex. Things of that sort."

"Again, whatever you say, dear."

The phone began to ring. Kyle stood up as it was obvious Kenny was too engrossed in his textbook to get up. Every once in a while Kenny would comment about something as Kyle chatted with someone on the other line. While Kyle finished his call, Kenny continued to eat his corn flakes, completely entranced by the contents of the book in front of him.

"Stan's on his way with Wendy," Kyle hanging up. He sat back down, smirking at Kenny. "I've got a question for you, since you seem so keen on useless information today- do you know why corn flakes were invented?"

"That's easy. Because the inventor could see into the future. He knew I just couldn't stand any other type of cereal to start my day."

Kyle laughed. "Not even close. Corn flakes were invented to stop men, mostly teens, from masturbating."

Kenny's spoon clattered. He turned in his chair, staring at Kyle's back with wide eyes.

"You're fucking kidding."

Kyle shook his head. "Nope. Apparently, the idea was that certain types of wheat and corn would 'turn off' the male libido."

There was silence for a moment as Kenny continued to stare at Kyle with a horrified look on his face. Kyle just shrugged. He picked up his coffee to take another sip before realizing he drank it already. Standing up, he began to make himself another cup.

"Anyway, Stan said that he wants to take Wendy out for dinner, so I guess that means it's just you and I tonight," Kyle said as he prepared his coffee. Kenny answered with a quiet moan. Kyle stopped stirring, and turned around to face Kenny, who had the hand not holding the spoon in his pants, jerking himself off. "Kenny! Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

Kenny raised his eyes to Kyle's. "Hmm…I'm performing a scientific experiment of my own."

"In the kitchen?"

"Dude, it's where the cereal is."

Kyle went to grab Kenny's hand, but retracted his quickly as he thought about what he was about to actual do. "Kenny, I didn't tell you that so you could do…_this_ in the kitchen!"

"College life has made you kind of a prude." Kenny shoved his spoon into Kyle's mouth. He smirked at Kyle's flushed face, placing the spoon back in the now empty bowl. His other hand never stopped stroking his length. "You know, Kyle," he paused to let out another quiet moan, watching Kyle's face get redder by the second, "I could use some help with this experiment."

"Oh, no. Absolutely not!" Kyle balked, plopping himself into the chair to Kenny's left. "I am not helping you…"

Kenny snorted. "I'm not asking for help, I'm telling you to join me. Every good scientific experiment has more than one experimenter. And besides, you ate the cereal." Kenny smiled seductively.

"But you…" The rest of Kyle's sentence was cut off when Kenny pulled him by the front of his shirt, Kenny's lips suddenly on his. Kyle groaned, then pulled away, trying not to look at Kenny. "K-Kenny…what…?"

"Shh." That was all Kenny said, before running a finger across Kyle's face. Kyle nodded. The blond smiled sweetly, kissing Kyle again. This time, however, the younger man responded. Kenny leaned into the kiss, running his tongue along Kyle's lips, sighing contently when the lips parted. He could honestly say he missed kissing Kyle. He swung his leg around the arm of his chair, placing himself sitting directly in Kyle's lap, his legs straddling Kyle's legs.

Kyle moaned quietly feeling Kenny's tongue gliding against his, Kenny's hand making its way down from his hair, caressing his chest, before finally stopping to rest at his thigh. His mind was reeling. Just ten minutes ago he was studying for a test. Now he was sitting in the kitchen, one of his best friends sitting on his lap, fondling him and kissing him. Once that thought went through his head, he paused. It was probably one of the best afternoons he'd had in a long while.

Pulling away from Kyle's mouth, Kenny nuzzled his cheek against the other man's cheek. "I am so glad you decided to join me in this experiment." He lowered his head just slightly to the right, and nipped at the flesh of Kyle's neck, all the while moving his hips teasingly across the arousal he just so happened to be sitting on. While Kyle whimpered and leaned his head back, Kenny continued his assault.

It seemed quite obvious to Kenny that Kyle wasn't sure what to do with his hands, as they were everywhere at once. On Kenny's back, clutching his arms, running through his hair. When they began roaming his chest and stomach, he grinned. Never leaving the nape of Kyle's neck, Kenny grabbed one of the roaming hands on his stomach and lowered it to his own arousal. He could feel Kyle swallow in anticipation.

Kyle wasn't dumb by any stretch of the imagination. He knew exactly what Kenny was trying to do. And damn if Kyle wasn't completely for it. With his left hand, Kyle tangled his fingers into the dark blond locks of his friend, bringing their faces together for more kissing, as he slipped his right hand into Kenny's pants, grasping his cock tightly. Kenny bucked against the hand, silently thanking whatever deity that would listen for letting him have fallen for the redhead. Oh, the things his fingers could _do_!

"I thought…oh…" Kenny gasped as Kyle started moving his hand in earnest. "I thought you said you wouldn't help me?"

"Well," Kyle replied, giving Kenny a tight squeeze. Kenny moaned again, his eyes slipping closed. "I'm in an experimental mood now. Can't you tell?"

Kenny tried to swing his legs around, without dislodging Kyle's hand, but because of the way he was seated, the chair tipped to the side, knocking both to the floor, Kenny on top of Kyle. There was a leg on either side of Kyle's legs. Kenny leaned down, pressing their lips together. He grasped Kyle's hand removing it from his cock, before he began grinding down against Kyle, Kyle's hips coming up to meet his. One of Kyle's hands was now busy trying to remove Kenny's pajama bottoms, the other running up and down his back, under the shirt. One of Kenny's hands was just as busy roaming Kyle's neck, resting on his cheek, playing with his curls. The other was removing Kyle's pants.

The pants were finally removed, and all the while their lips never came apart. The grinding became more frantic as soon as flesh met flesh. Kenny was clutching at Kyle's hip, leaving finger shaped bruises, kissing the breath out of the younger man. Kyle's mewls were being swallowed by Kenny, his own deep moans coming from the back of his throat.

Kenny could feel the tingling starting at the base of his spine, slowly making its way through his body, wrapping around his stomach, the pressure begging to be released. "K-Kyle…" he breathed against the younger man's lips, before crying out, bucking hard into the hips below him.

The entire situation started out feeling very strange for Kyle, but now he felt he couldn't possibly fathom being anywhere else than with Kenny's hair falling on his face, his hands touching him, his lips gently caressing him. He could feel his own release building quickly. The second he felt the liquid warmth of Kenny's release on his stomach, it was all over for Kyle. He came hard, his back arched, moaning deeply around Kenny's tongue in his mouth.

They lay on the kitchen floor, arms and legs wrapped around each other, kissing sweetly.

"I should get extra credit for that," Kyle said.

"Dude, you pass the class with fucking flying colors for that," Kenny said, resting his head on Kyle's chest.

Kyle sighed. "I missed this."

Kenny raised himself on his arms, pecking Kyle's lips again. He pulled away with a lecherous smile on his face. "We're out of graham crackers. We're going to have to go to the store in a little bit."

Kyle sputtered. "What?"

"The results were inconclusive. If we're to finish this experiment, we're going to need graham crackers. They were invented for the same reason as corn flakes," Kenny nodded sagely, and then he burst into laughter. Beneath him Kyle joined in laughing.

"So I see."

* * *

><p>Wendy was making her way to the kitchen, when an arm pulled her back into the living room. She looked up to see a green-faced Stan.<p>

"You don't want to go in the kitchen right now, Wends," Stan said in a disturbed voice.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Kyle and Kenny are having sex in the kitchen."

Wendy's eyes grew large. "Really?"

"Yeah," Stan nodded, looking ill at the thought.

Wendy hummed in consideration. "Question."

"Hmm?"

Wendy looked thoughtful at her boyfriend. "Why, exactly, wouldn't I want to go in the kitchen?"


End file.
